26/11/2008

I can’t believe this happened… again. But then again, it’s been happening so often that some of us have even grown numb to it all. How can this be? How has Man grown into this seething monster? We are progressing technologically and urbanization is way off the highest rung of the ladder but we seem to have forgotten how it all started. Man has truly become man’s greatest enemy. We are from the same race. You can’t pick who you are but you can choose who you become. You can be better. You can be a human being. Isn’t it enough that we live? We talk, we speak, we walk…We breathe. How is it that we have grown so indifferent to the needs of our own fellow mates? How the fuck can you take a life when you have never lived your own? How can you profess that you are superior by spilling the blood of an innocent? How? Who the fuck are you? No one tells you to be any different. No religion tells you that. Religion is something man-made, however. God is One. Hell, we are One. So why do you keep trying to out-race your peers? What have we turned into? We are here for a reason. To live and let live. This is our home, our life, our cities, our planet. You have no right to destroy what is everyone else’s. Violence isn’t an answer but justice is. We will fight back. Doesn’t it make you cringe to know what you have done? Have you never felt pain or hurt that it becomes so cold-blooded for you to cause it to others? Do you even know how stupid you sound? How callous this is? How can you be? How can you be? But what I realize is no amount of wondering or asking is going to change what’s happened. You are our hope, that’s what makes it sadder. Look into the mirror and focus on your eyes. What do you see? You, we… are the future. It has to stop. This second on.

You may not see, but for that you must truly believe.

I think one of the most difficult things to do is to face your fear. For me, it's always been the same, scared of meeting people, of speaking publicly and of not being successful in what I set out to do. And much of it stems from feeling inadequate at times. And well, facing one's fear has a thrill about it yet you need that final push. Like I really wanna bungee-jump off a cliff someday but someone needs to push me. I might be all geared up in the suit and everything but I need that motivation, the belief that I can go on, do it and mostly, by myself. It's only then when you feel a sense of deep satisfaction.
I just hope I get a job when I come back in January, I really wanna work with Art...I want to design it, create it and I know I have the potential to do so. To graphically design prints for paper or magazines or even ads.... I even enjoy writing but now, after learning the technical aspects of designing which I was otherwise only good at hand, I wanna explore that aspect and take it up as a career. It's what I've always wanted.So we've established that happiness is
a prime drive for moving forward in life. It's just that sometimes I'd also really
like to show the people especially those who didn't/don't believe in me that
I can do it too and here I am, in your face, on the highest pinnacle of self-
actualization! I'm sure you have felt that competition too, to show people that
you can be the darned best as well. It's not easy but it's definitely not that hard.

I'm fairly creative but I'm still a little timid in my ways. That's why my work needs to speak for me sometimes. The hardest part is what you are or what you will be no one can see unless they see you as a bold, outgoing person. And I am the total opposite. I'm very shy and completely reserved. I just hope all this disappears and I get a job I truly deserve and want to work my ass off for. That'll be the drive to push me forward when I know I'm doing something I love.
:)
Hey, hold on to your dreams, never throw them away.....you know you can make them come true.

Hmmm :-/

I know I can and it's okay...but still what if I'm not supposed to? It's not a crime but would it be so wrong to? But anyway I already do.... I don't want to set my hopes up again... We're really good friends but....well....ah...I'm confused...and also happy... I might be just imagining it. It'd be great if it were for real. And it's been on my mind since a few days now... Shit! I'm sorry you don't know what I'm talking about but I can't say anything here - it's too public.


But I hope something cool happens! Crossing my fingers :-)



Aaaaargh!!! I'm going to kill Val.


I am an ass. I mean, it's kind of stupid. And X does not see me that way. We're just friends. I should totally shut up now. 


SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPRO!!!!

Have you?

Um....Have any of you ever felt a vast sense of emptiness when you finish reading a great book or watching a really good movie? It's difficult to put to paper but it feels so strange when that happens to me. I feel a huge gaping hole (okay, that would be pretty horrific) in my chest or something funny within my insides. Like today, I watched the last episode in the season finale of Friends and yeah, I've watched it a million times but that didn't stop me from feeling sad. I remember when I saw Rang de Basanti for the first time, I couldn't stop crying for a week worrying about my future and what we, the youth are really doing. Crazy, huh? I don't even know the purpose of this entry. Sometimes we type with the sole reason of making a point but then you can't and it just plain sucks!


Anyway I was talking about how one feels after reading or watching something great. What a great influence or feeling that another person (maybe the author or the director or protagonist) who you might never meet or know can have on you, a complete stranger. I really should try to stop talking profound when I can't, especially right now. I have a test tomorrow that I need to study for! Toodles.

My Crafts!

Being very much inclined with color and obviously,art,I really hope to have my own Craft Store or Art Store where I can display my creative wares-earrings,keychains,anklets etc. And now may be,I finally can because Kala Ghoda is coming up in October.....Yahoooo!!!! KG's always got crazy creative talent.


I draw my timely inspirations now and then from AWESOME places like Dhoop(it's at 15th Road,Khar- you gotta check it out!),The Bombay Store,Hobby Idea and various other cool exhibitions(Kala Ghoda-The best!).
Here's some of my work:








I really, truly hope to do this professionally some day.... :) It's one of my many dreams.

La Vie

You know what I think everyone should know and learn...is that you should never read too much into anything or question anything that once made you happy and once made you smile. Because it leads to regret, hurt and ill-feelings towards that person. I mean, whatever. Past is past. Forward is forward. You deal with so many things. No one needs to figure out everything or unlock the psyche of every nano thing. By thinking more and more into why it happened or how it happened, all that crap can do one no good! My Blog sounds pretty preachy,don't it?I'm just trying to learn from my experiences with different things.

Tomorrow,I have an interview for the post of a Content Writer for wcities.com. I wouldn't mind taking it up since it should be fun. It's new and it's an experience!

As I was saying, you really got to let go..it's easy for me to say. I mean, I'm scared of heights...but someday, when I get the chance to, I would love to jump off a cliff and free fall into the deepest blue...Just even thinking about it gives me the most awesome feeling. I would be scared to, but so bloody psyched just to do it! That's what life should be, it should amaze you and thrill you each time. Not just by big things, even the little things can count for a whole huge feeling of psychitude.

Like when I spot Orion in the sky, I always get excited, especially pointing it out to my friends or people and telling them how he got there. It's like the feeling is always new, no matter how many times, I've seen it. It would be great if things were always perfect and happy but it's the mistakes one learns from and also the ones that make you cringe but hope to learn better from. C'est la vie!

Karma

I suddenly feel basked by good karma....Maybe I felt a sense of peace that Buddha transpired to me through the tatoo I saw on Tao's hand. It's the most beautiful tatoo I've ever seen. It's so awesome and deep and intriguing. I mean, when you look at it first, it's a side profile of Buddha when he was a monk and on the inner hand or forehand, It's the full frontal of The Buddha sitting...the shading done is just beautiful. However, if you look deeper into the tatoo, you will see a third Buddha hidden in the many shades of the folds of his robes(Look at the second pic closely and you will see him, too....a bigger side profile of his face)...Awesome. I love creativity. It's something deep,peaceful and beautiful. Creativity doesn't necessarily have to be related to the arts. There are different forms it can be born in. I feel so happy and pleased. :) I also ran into so many people I haven't seen in a long time yesterday...was a lot of fun....I like to believe that I have been cleansed....pure...rejuvenated.When you realize something inside of you,it reflects on your outter sense and being. You feel lighter and happier.I also feel like as if I can relate to all this inner-being and aura and crap...It's always mesmerized me....aura,sense of being,mythology,tranquility....Ooooh!!!It soothes the soul like nothing or no one else.I almost feel like I need nothing. That's an awesome feeling!Just move forward.It's easy to say it but if you do, your light becomes clearer and brighter to you.

Wish

I love looking for stars in an inky sky
I wish my dreams to touch a rainbow high
I like Sunshine
It makes me smile
Vanishes away my troubles…just for a while.
I wish for a wish
A dream that sparkles
Life is life
No matter what we say
And I hope you have a lovely day!

This is something I totally forgot about that I typed and forgot to post it::

27-07-08
It has finally begun to rain normally. I’m happy but I actually hate the rains. I just knew if it didn’t rain, everything would get royally screwed up. It’d mean more weather changes, an increase in the level of global warming (not that we have a really in-check level right now), farmers committing suicides et cetera. I don’t want the world to end! Already the Mayans have already predicted that the world would end on 20-12-2012. I wonder if it’s just a play on numbers. Remember when 2000 was supposed to be the end of the world? However, at this time, it doesn’t seem so absurd. At the rate that we are going, the end of the world seems pretty plausible. Some of us are still taking it lightly. I, for one do sometimes. I waste a lot of water while washing, brushing my teeth etc. I do throw off my garbage in bins but being sure that just a few of us do it. How is it gonna help? We are slowly destroying the earth in our quest for material things.


I don’t know why I am like this. I slowly begin to disconnect from people for a while. It’s not that I am a loner but at the same time, I have my friends, very few BEST friends and I can’t be best friends with everyone nor do I have just one best friend, I guess. However, I constantly feel the need to disconnect from my friends for a while to take a breather. A splash of fresh air, which not most people get me for. It’s difficult explaining and I really don’t feel the need to. It’s scary at times when I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. And sometimes, I’m just at peace.

:(

I feel an odd sense of frustration and desperation suddenly.I thought I was ready to forgive and forget and be a friend but clearly, I'm not ready. And I don't know why. Something has been switched indefinitely off inside of me. I feel very irritated.
Sometimes, when I'm pissed, I sing this song in my head,
Shut up to your face
Shut up to your head
Shut up to that stupid ass
Who walks at a slow pace.

Oh, go away!

Don't sing that stupid love song....It's time to move on! :)

Sometimes we can make things up with our minds to get on with life or feel happy about ourselves or something. It helps at the moment, but it helps the most when you finally learn you have let go and actually grown from it. So that guy/girl dumped you, it's like you couldn't care less and It's not even about telling them to go eff themselves or something...you actually don't care.



It's like they say, Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward.


How true! How true! The funny thing is you believe it only when you feel it truly applies to yourself and you’re able to relate to it, somehow. But it’s also strange that before it all, it (whatever you were doing) doesn’t seem wrong, it don’t seem right, yet you know it’s what you gotta do. And the whole thing about making things up is more like a sane version of deluding yourself into pseudo reality. You see signs that affirm your ‘in-your-mind’-reality, people that agree with you… and then you start to see very clearly. It’s great when you realize what a fool you would be to continue being the same person and that’s when it hits you…. Move on! We only miss things or persons in our life when we want to but however, we can do better without them. Sadly, the first time you’re wrong, you tend to be steered into the belief that whatever you believed in never existed any way and it was all just a farce. That’s just one drawback. So it’s still okay. It’s not a big deal! I took a while to move on and let it sink in and now, I can say that I’m truly free of all that useless thinking and wondering.

Orion

Hey, this is one of my favorite constellations and I love the story too. I think it's awesome! :)

Here's the story....



If you look up into the sky on a clear, dark night, you may be able to see a group of stars called Pegasus. There are hundreds of stars in Pegasus, and one of them is called Pelai.
Pelai lived in a magnificent palace with his lovely wife and their beautiful daughter. One day the daughter looked down to the Earth and saw a young hunter called Orion. Orion was as tall and handsome as any of the gods in the sky and the girl fell in love with him immediately.
Orion was out hunting one day shortly after the girl had first seen him, and as he turned into a clearing in the forest, he came upon the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. It was the daughter of Pelai, who, as soon as light had come to the sky, had slipped out of her night palace and come down to earth. Orion fell in love with her as deeply as she had fallen in love with him. The happy couple spent the day hunting and laughing and walking hand-in-hand through the forest, as lovers do. When night approached, the girl said: ‘I must leave now. I must return to my father’s palace in the night sky. We can never meet again. For I am allowed but one trip to your world. If I try to come back, my heavenly light will be put out forever.’
Orion was heartbroken. ‘Then I must come to you,’ he whispered.
‘Your love will have to be the strongest of all if you are to ascend to the sky and live with me,’ the girl said gently, and disappeared.
Poor Orion. His love was the strongest of all. But how could he find a way to the heavens?
Day after day, Orion would climb to the highest cliffs, scale the tallest trees, and even, in utter despair, reach out as far as he could. But it was of little use.
The night sky was as far away as ever. Orion sat down and wept. As he shed his tears, an old woman walked by. ‘My son,’ she said as she passed, ‘why do you cry? You are young. You are handsome. What has made you so sad?’
‘Oh woman,’ wailed Orion. ‘Love has made me weep so,’ and he explained his plight to the old woman.
She listened silently and when he had finished she said, ‘There is only one way for you to ascend to the heavens. You must gather your most precious possession and offer it to the night gods tomorrow when the moon is high. If they are pleased with your offering, they will take you to live amongst them.’
Orion was overjoyed and rushed home to find his most treasured possession. As a hunter, his bow and arrow were of great value to him, so he gathered them up. He was about to leave his humble hut and return to the clearing when he remembered the belt that his parents had given him when he had reached manhood. It was studded with precious stones and his parents had sacrificed much to afford it.
With his bow and arrow and his belt he ran back to the clearing and waited until the sun was at its highest. There was a thin veil of clouds covering the stars, but exactly when the moon should be at its highest, the sky cleared and Orion could see the shining stars.
Suddenly, a soft voice whispered in the breeze, ‘Orion, what is your most precious possession that you can offer?’
‘My bow and arrow, by which I make my living,’ said Orion.
The breeze wrenched the bow and arrow from his hands and Orion watched it disappear upwards and upwards.
A few seconds later the breeze whispered, ‘It is indeed a precious gift, but we want your most precious possession.’
So Orion took the belt from around his waist and held it up to the stars.
Again the breeze wrenched it from his hands and Orion watched as it disappeared heavenward.
‘It is indeed a precious gift, but there is something else that you have that is even more precious,’ whispered the breeze.
‘I have nothing else of value,’ cried Orion.
‘There is one thing so precious that if you offer it to the gods they will grant you your wish.’
‘Nothing. There is nothing more,’ sobbed Orion.
‘Then I leave,’ breathed the wind.
‘No. Wait!’ cried Orion. ‘My most treasured possession I cannot give away, for it is not mine to give. It was entrusted to me and in return I gave a similar gift.’
‘What is it?’ demanded the breeze.
‘It is the love that my sweetheart gave to me. That is my most treasured possession.’
As soon as he had said the words, the breeze became stronger and wrapped itself around Orion pulling him upwards and upwards and upwards, until at last he was in the sky looking down at the world.
‘My love,’ a voice behind him whispered. Orion turned round and there was his beloved. ‘You had to know that my love was your most treasured possession before you could come here. I am so happy that you knew it.’
The happy couple embraced and have been together in the sky ever since.

Smiles and Sunshine!

Hey because of that cool dream,maybe it was trying to tell me to leave all my emotional junk behind....So I'm actually on the road to letting go!!
I mean, for a while, it did seem right but I guess I've got more in store for me!!
I'm thinking of writing a book....I always wanted to...Just never got around to doing it.
I sometimes wish my journals would get published some day.But I don't know how comfortable I would feel about others reading it.
Whatever.
This is a start for the new me!!!
Let's see how far this 'letting go' works....
:)

What I dreamt about....

I had a really weird dream last night. Weird, strange but nice. Apparently, I was talking to some guy I barely met and who I knew through a friend. As we started getting acquainted, out of the blue, he started to talk about soul-mates, and how he needed to find his desperately and I was getting all excited, to talk to him about it cuz I felt I could totally relate in light of my recent feelings towards a certain member of the opposite sex and we were talking about taking chances and we came to this waterfall. Crazy, huh? And he jumped right through to the end and said, ‘Do this!’
And I was like, ‘Whoa!’ and then I told him it would have been more fun if we’d have jumped in together and any way I was wearing my pink skirt and white top in the dream, so I was afraid it’d get wet and I was worried the water might be too deep but then, I jumped right down through the splooshing (Is that a word?) foamy water and the dream just took off from there. I was in the water but he wasn’t around, and it didn’t seem funny to me in the dream that he wasn’t, but now I wonder where he disappeared to! I don’t remember any more. It was definitely strange but kind of cool. I’ve never met that guy before nor did he bear any resemblance to anybody I know. His face too, is a blur in my mind. It was also quirky because I was thinking nothing of that sort when I went to sleep last night.
I wonder if it means anything? What do you think?

Ramble-Ample!

It’s amazing how you can think one thing and say the other. The games our brains play with our mouth.
What you know is that I’m a random blogger like everyone else. What you don’t know is, who I really am. But in this world of weirdness and weirder-ness, I ask, ‘Do we really want to know?’ Do we? And why? This is a world of gossip. I strive to un thrive. Then again, it is difficult to not. The world is full of people. Different categories of people. The more we analyze, the more confused we become. Loving somebody must be awesome. I wouldn’t know. Sex isn’t a big deal. But I may not come close to doing it because I have my own issues. Sharing secrets with someone you care about is great. I’m rambling and I don’t have a point to make. I’m typing for the sake of it. I hate confinement. I have a phobia of closed spaces. I like to be free. Running around in an empty stadium. Driving at night on a lone road. Walking by myself at the beach. I am not afraid of people. I’m afraid of losing myself. Of giving myself away. I feel lost in a throng of faces. I look for people I’ve seen in my dreams. Sometimes, I wish I could remember their faces. I seek answers to my immediate plans. I do not want to not go to college anymore. Most importantly, I wish to remain the same. I want to be happy. I want to care about world peace or saving the environment. I want to not care too much about material things. But I do. I want to accomplish all that I’ve set out far. I believe I’m gonna make it. I miss my old home. I miss living with people. I hate coming back to an empty house. I never want to have kids. Or get married. But sometimes I think if I did have kids, or adopted any, I’d name them Ariel and Skye. I don’t want to ever think about death of any of my family members. I think, sometimes, you need to try at least, to be prepared but I don’t think I ever will. However, like a coward, I do hope that I would die first before any of that happened lest dealing with it because I know I will never be able to. I know I would never dream of taking my life away because it means so much to me, I love it and I’m amazed at how far I’ve come. Especially in mind and spirit. How much I’ve learnt and grown. And as far as I’m concerned, nothing will ever be a mistake in my life because I will always learn. To feel like you know everything is just plain boring. When you have a raw desire to know or have a to-do list, you know you want to go further. Explore. Discover. And keep dreaming big. Dreams are never foolish.

Happy/Scared/Both!

I just read this thought in my friend's email , "Dream should be such that it shouldn't let you sleep." - Abdul Kalam

And it just sparked my ignition. All these past few nights, I haven't been able to sleep. I think of things. I dream of things. Sometimes, I just wonder if everyone could be right...whether these are just castle dreams. But somehow I want to make it happen, I want for it to happen and deep down, I just know it'll happen. Is that crazy?

I'm in such an awesome and creative field...Media. Naturally, I'm interested in so many different aspects of it....writing, film-making, photography, editing, advertising etc. I don't wanna give up one to do the other. I would want to do it all and experience it all. Even if it's a little of everything. I like learning. Especially new things. Exploring stuff.

I get excited by such little things... Seemingly rubbish stuff to others but awesome stuff to me...
Like I keep saying 'Thank you' to rickshaw drivers and none of them really reply but one guy said 'Thank you', too and that made my day!Or talking about something truly passionate to me or making a point in a class of people...those things thrill me!Talking to strangers....it's fun when you pick the right ones.... Or seeing an old friend across the road and yelling out to them! :)

Idiotic Proverbs by Me.

1.The goose and the gander are not part of the kingdom of Alexander.

2.Love received is ultimate than the olive seed.
(The olive seed supposedly signifies wealth).

3.The light of the fire is worthier than the greatest desire.

4.To be alive is better, even more than the power of five.
(*Read:five here is a reference to the five senses).

5. To be crazy is all I've got

It's much better than lying here to rot.

Pure

“Even though the moment passed me by,I still can’t turn away..” - Name,Goo Goo Dolls

I love songs that you can relate to.Like a song could actually represent your life at one time and it’s only because we as human beings,all experience the same emotions but in totally different ways.I don’t know,it’s what I think.
Everyone’s interpretation is different.
Music is a such a lovely way to express one’s self.
It is like uncovering another soul,a deeper understanding of a person or a thing.
It can take you to another dimension,like an escape into an infinite universe.
I think of different things.
Music can lift my mood or just represent my mood or just be there and not irk me with questions.
It’s pure and beautiful like love or an intense emotion of feeling like watching the stars against an inky sky,lying on the grass,playing with a leaf and lick the rain drops as they fall down on your face and feel at peace,feel light and…
Maybe hold hands with someone you really care about and know right at the moment,wishing what you each wish for,you are just purely happy.