Bunch of Lies

So everyone's a bunch of MCBCs. Thank you, world for re-iterating my faith. Really. I wanted to forget and let you back in but you just stabbed me in the back. Merci. Never ever again. Fuck the fuck off.

P.S. catch a grenade and die.

The Shark

I'd like to share these lines with you via my friend, Schumi. I think they're beautiful:-

Und der Haifisch der hat Tränen
Und die laufen vom Gesicht
Doch der Haifisch lebt im Wasser
so die Tränen sieht man nicht
In der Tiefe ist es einsam
Und so manche Zähre fließt
Und so kommt es dass das Wasser
in den Meeren salzig ist

And the shark, it has tears
And they run down its face
But the shark lives in the water
so no one sees the tears
In the depths it is lonely
And so many a tear flows
And that is why the water
in the seas is salty.

Split-Second

You know that moment when you realize that some stupid things are just not that important enough? That's now. It's when you miss what's been right in front of your eyes all along but you were too busy being selfish to notice or care. That's when you start to feel bad, really bad and you feel like turning back time. Because how could this happen? It could be you or me. But the worst part is, you got saved. Your friend wasn't too lucky. That's what hurts even more. Like an insane pain filling up your senses and clouding up your mind. You can't tell your friend not to cry because you can't help but feel horrible yourself. If the world could survive on good karma and wishes, there's nothing like it. But this is life, it just freaks you out insanely but the truth is that we can't change or control what will be. It all comes full circle. You arrive alone, you leave alone. Don't cry, I wish I could assure you that it would be okay.

Morphine

You entered my system like a drug
You were in in my bloodstream
You threw my immunity away
I got sucked into you like a beautiful dream

Your taste was sweet, refreshing, different
I'm attached to you, like oxygen
I felt complete with you and;
Even as it hurt me, you got under my skin

You scare me
Because if I cut you off me
I'll lay open in a pool of blood...
And there'll be nothing to see.

They say time heals wounds
But the scars remain.
And as I leave you,
My heart breaks with the pain.

Sucker-Punch

You're an asshole!

You're a prick!

How can you be so daft?

Are you blind?

Can you not see?

Or are you just pretending to be?

Climb out of your ass

Smell the real world!

Wake up,

You're burning

I'm not putting your fire out

Not if you can't see it yourself.

How do you live?

How can you pretend?

Your world is crumbling around you

And your eyes are black

I tried to help you once

But the patience, now, I lack.

I'm out of the fire

Into the rain

I smell a new beginning

And there's no more pain.

Dead

I never saw it coming. It wasn't like a comet, it was more of a light year. It moved forward but only at a decelerating speed... it deflected my thoughts, it eluded me, it changed me. And now, I see it. Now, it's clear. The pain was inflicted. The wound was raw, the blood made me cringe for a few days, it made me still, it made my mind weep. It was something like bad karma but also like an airborne disease. It sucked at my brain and entered my system. It may have even broken me but as I picked up the pieces, I realized something strange. The moon appeared beautiful at night. Among all that velvety darkness, it remained a thing of beauty. It shone more with its craters and spots. It held high and didn't back down. It provided some reassurance, hope and a feeling of serenity.

Selfish

You know how when you haven't refilled your phone-credit for a while, they tell you that your service/line has been temporarily disconnected. Well, I feel like that disconnected line. Not exactly towards life, but I feel like I'm disconnecting from people. It's hard to explain to the people about what I'm feeling, especially when some of those people are my really close friends but I just don't know what to do. It's at times like this that I feel like going for a long holiday or be exiled to a place where no one knows me and no one cares to know me. Strange, right? I'm not a loner, I'm usually the kind who loves to be with people. Especially the ones I care about. But yeah, I wish I could be a loner just for a while. You know, may be to get things in perspective or to just be stationary while time moved. I just hate explaining to people why I am this way and why I wish to be left alone. I just need to be alone in my head sometimes. May be I'm just being horribly selfish, I know I am but I hate being tied down or clung to. This whole independence-thing (not sure if you could call it that) has pretty much gotten to me. I think it's bad. I don't know if I should change, if I want to. But I just might lose the people that I care about and who care about me the most if I disconnect this way, even if it's on a temporary basis because sometimes a little crack can break the whole vase, if you know what I mean. I think I'm crazy. If I were Rob Thomas, I would have used these thoughts and feelings and composed a nice little sad but cool relate-able ballad.

Strange, Strange Feelings

I always ramble about unnecessary things, and probably my meaningless idiosyncrasies don't even help you, the reader, if you are reading it (So much for my goal to help the virtual universe in my little ways). But I write because it's the only thing that keeps me going and keeps me sane. I feel suspended somewhere with the colloidal particles floating around and I'm just there. Not free-falling. Not hitting the ground. Just hanging on by invisible and clearly painful hooks. It makes me ache. It makes me restless. I want to go to France, sit at cafés, sip coffees, paint and enjoy the space around me. I want to learn to live in a new place all over again. I feel held down, tied and restless here. I feel like I'm not moving. It disturbs me. I want to go to space. I want to go to Egypt. I wonder if we'll ever settle home at Mars. I just thought of a Nebula Fission and wondered what it was, I feel like I've come across it somewhere in my Science Textbooks. Oh wait, I looked it up, its definition is:

1. A diffuse mass of interstellar dust or gas or both, visible as…
(n.)
2. A cloudy spot on the cornea.
(n.)
3. A liquid medication applied by spraying.

I wonder if the Gospel of Judas actually existed or if it still does and where could it be. I thought I'd have a job by now. I really, really want to get the UTV Bindass job sooo bad. I hope I do. I even prayed selfishly. I say 'selfish' because I haven't thought to pray so sincerely before except when I've said random two-liners to keep my parents and sisters always safe. Why are boys so damn weird? They are the weirdest and most thoroughly annoying species I have ever come across. They say women are hard to understand, that we make things difficult...complicated. Yeah, right. How complicated is telling a person you that you simply like them, nothing more, nothing less? I mean, what is it? Is that so scary? Who's asking for fricking commitment or any of that shit? That doesnt exist anymore, I at least personally feel so. So whatever, go do your bar-hopping, smoke a cigarette, think that the biggest action you've got all day is that a girl brushed up against you accidentally in a crowded pub and yeah, go home and make yourself happy.

I'm sorry I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm sorry. I'll end here.