Selfish

You know how when you haven't refilled your phone-credit for a while, they tell you that your service/line has been temporarily disconnected. Well, I feel like that disconnected line. Not exactly towards life, but I feel like I'm disconnecting from people. It's hard to explain to the people about what I'm feeling, especially when some of those people are my really close friends but I just don't know what to do. It's at times like this that I feel like going for a long holiday or be exiled to a place where no one knows me and no one cares to know me. Strange, right? I'm not a loner, I'm usually the kind who loves to be with people. Especially the ones I care about. But yeah, I wish I could be a loner just for a while. You know, may be to get things in perspective or to just be stationary while time moved. I just hate explaining to people why I am this way and why I wish to be left alone. I just need to be alone in my head sometimes. May be I'm just being horribly selfish, I know I am but I hate being tied down or clung to. This whole independence-thing (not sure if you could call it that) has pretty much gotten to me. I think it's bad. I don't know if I should change, if I want to. But I just might lose the people that I care about and who care about me the most if I disconnect this way, even if it's on a temporary basis because sometimes a little crack can break the whole vase, if you know what I mean. I think I'm crazy. If I were Rob Thomas, I would have used these thoughts and feelings and composed a nice little sad but cool relate-able ballad.