‘Most people think life sucks and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills, but you work hard for thirty five years and you pay it back and then, one day, you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool, but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then, one day, you step off a curb at 67th Street and BAM!, you get hit by a city bus and then you die ... maybe.’
~ Denis Leary
And that makes my favorite fictional character Jacob Black’s voice-out seem vastly understated when he said, ‘Life sucks and then you die’ compared to what this guy said above. It’s not something you laugh at because it could pretty much work out that way. Being cynical and realistic are two different things. For the most part of life, I’ve been a believer. A pretty darned good believer that believed in magic and happy endings and getting what you want. But I’m not sure anymore of what I am. Or who I am. Or rather who should I be? Who am I supposed to be? I feel considerably empty and unfeeling. I could curl up on the floor and just be. Like curling up under a bed and no one will ever know or find me there. To just be. I’m not depressed or sad. I’m just empty. Devoid of superficial and emotional hang-ups. No expectations. No hope. Because this is life and it sucking is part of what makes it real. I don’t want to be a princess in a fairytale who gets whatever she wants but I want to get what I deserve. And that’s: a good job, to work at what I know I’m good at. Don’t let me be. I don’t want to be in the same place I’ve been in for so long. I want to be upgraded. What am I doing wrong? I don’t know. Fine. No expectations. You’ll find me under my bed from here on.
~ Denis Leary
And that makes my favorite fictional character Jacob Black’s voice-out seem vastly understated when he said, ‘Life sucks and then you die’ compared to what this guy said above. It’s not something you laugh at because it could pretty much work out that way. Being cynical and realistic are two different things. For the most part of life, I’ve been a believer. A pretty darned good believer that believed in magic and happy endings and getting what you want. But I’m not sure anymore of what I am. Or who I am. Or rather who should I be? Who am I supposed to be? I feel considerably empty and unfeeling. I could curl up on the floor and just be. Like curling up under a bed and no one will ever know or find me there. To just be. I’m not depressed or sad. I’m just empty. Devoid of superficial and emotional hang-ups. No expectations. No hope. Because this is life and it sucking is part of what makes it real. I don’t want to be a princess in a fairytale who gets whatever she wants but I want to get what I deserve. And that’s: a good job, to work at what I know I’m good at. Don’t let me be. I don’t want to be in the same place I’ve been in for so long. I want to be upgraded. What am I doing wrong? I don’t know. Fine. No expectations. You’ll find me under my bed from here on.
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