I just feel so very blah today. You know, how on somedays you feel as though you're on top of the world and nothing can break you? Well I feel the opposite of that today. Honesty and being your true self to whoever it is, I really value but it's just that not everyone gets that or thinks you ought be that way to brush past the conniving wolves of this world and make your mark in this world. It's so hard to move on and be pleasant about things, to move forward especially when your mind clearly remains stagnant in troubled waters...I keep trying to do it everyday but somehow I crash recklessly backward into false dreams or rather beaten hope. It makes me feel bad, makes me feel so disappointed and the next moment, the smallest of things can me happy, me(like seeing Lola Kutty in public or someone telling me my phone-wire braiding is really cool) and I can really be the happiest person on that day. I just don't like feeling this other sick way because it makes me tear up and negativity is really like a poison, it seeps through your system gradually, corrupts your thinking and kills you instantly once the process is complete. Hey, writing is very therapeutic, like talking to a friend or talking to yourself. It helps to clear your mind at least for a teensy while, it's a clean feeling but sometimes the hurt just lies there stuck in those impossible-to-reach nooks and crannies until the sharp and clever point of a toothpick comes along and fishes out the annoying tiny sliver of something wedged between your teeth!
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