I've always believed in signs, astrology, lucky numbers and god-knows-what. But then there are always gonna be sluts, whores and bitches to bring you down. So what do you do, really? I guess there's no answer really. You can talk to people, sort it out yourself or just wallow in your sorrowful pity... yes, don't bother asking - I blame the overflowing sea that is my mind. I really have been such a fool of sorts. But whatever I'm on the Road To Perdition whatever that means. I mean, I'm sure it means something good or they wouldn't have made it into a movie.
Okay, I must really stop seeing signs everywhere. It's fricking insane and completely scary! How the hell is this happening? Does one sees signs that they're meant to or are they just normal things that you make out to be signs? It just can't be happening. I saw three today. Two grave-markers with Leia's name on them (why is that strange, you might ask? Well, I came in early for mass and I went to the graveyard thinking that I'd pray over a random poor soul so I stopped at a marker that read 'Matthew Fernandes' and said a little prayer. While I did, my eyes looked up and automatically fell on a shelf-grave that had Leia's name. Then I called up Serena to tell her, she, of course didn't think much of it and by then I was walking around the church over the graves and I hung up the phone and yes, I looked down and I was standing on another grave that bore Leia's name on it)! Then her name crops up on a random bench I decided to sit on. #Weird! I didn't even see the name there up until halfway into mass.
So what, what, what is all this??? There is a fourth sign but I can't write about it here for fear of infiltration by the Nazis. But what do you think all this means? Must I make too much of any of it? Must I?
I am such a weird little kook. I must stop this insanity. You know what I love? Swimming pools, water bodies... right now, I'm thinking of an ocean. The Pacific. I'm sitting on the sand, alone, the wind is whipping my hair. There's sand strewn across my clothes and grits of it in my hair. It's late at night and no one cares to know where I am :-) I just sit there, hugging my knees across my chest and feel wonderful to just be alive... And yeah, on a completely unrelated level, I really wish you were here (just like the song by Incubus)!
