March 24, 2010

Be a man!

Waxing, threading, tweezing, laser-treatments, plucking and there’s no end to the list of painful activities that women subject themselves to, all in the pursuit of beauty. Why then must women only be prey to these? Sure, we have a few handfuls of metrosexual and homosexual men who thrive on grooming but what about the hairy heterosexual?

1. Armpit Hair-Scare

WHEN IT’S NOT OK: Okay, may be some of you think your armpit hair is manly and not harmful when not in view. But when it starts to look like the back of a mini-troll head, it’s time you take measures and fast!

WHY: Um. It reeks even with all that Dunhill. Lest, you’re our boyfriend or potential suitor, taking your shirt off is no more pleasing to the eye. No more.

2. Unibrow-Horror!

WHEN IT’S NOT OK: When we see the two hairy lines above your eyes converge into one line. Also, when the width of that line is more than 2 cm, it’s called return of the caveman.

WHY: Because you look like a jackass! We’re embarrassed to be seen with you.

3. Ear-Whiskers

WHEN IT’S NOT OK: When it looks like black smoke is coming out of your ears. Only, honey, it’s not and we seriously think it’s gross and a ear-trimmer is in need. Besides, Ear-whiskers is not putting it mildly, it only sounds disgusting.

WHY: Because when you’re watching Fabregas battle it out for Arsenal, and inadvertently are twirling your ear-whiskers, we’re cringing and swallowing back the puke.

4. Pain in the Back!

WHEN IT’S NOT OK: When you think you’re all hot-stuff and take off your shirt at the beach, there’s black fuzz growing on your back and we can see it from a hundred miles away. That is NOT okay.

WHY: Because we’re dating you, not your hairy uncle, Earl.

5. The Secret Garden

WHEN IT’S NOT OK: When your boxers can no longer confine your groin-hair! Also, when it breaks through like a tributary and joins a hairier flow-pattern on your legs. Not a pretty sight at all.

WHY: Because it’s called your private parts for a reason. Everything in there is private and should be incarcerated within your boxers, mate.


So if you have more than one of these deal-breakers on the list, we suggest you work on it pronto! After all, you don’t want to be one of those men who gave up a great girl because of your ego. That be all.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

lolz great posts nice blog :D

krypton02 said...

Thank you Shaiz :)

IceMaiden said...

Hey there!
Thanks for following my blog :)

n LMFAO at the post!!!!!! :D
Secret Garden was one heck of a term!! :D hehehehe!

I actually know a guy who got so fed up of all the teasing, that he marched down to the parlor and got his hands waxed! :| & then called us up and said "Aeeeiiiii.... kitna smooth-smooth lag raha hai!" He has been subject to much ridicule over the years for that act :D :D

Awesome post! :)

Cheers,
Annie.

krypton02 said...

I don't know, I just felt a connection to your writing, clichéd and silly as it may sound! Espec. the latest post about you being invisible and all that wonderful ramble in your mind. I totally get that and am mostly the same way too and I love that post, it's like a story you've written, I have written two which seem similar in their style and only one's up on my blog cuz I don't know how good they are but I think your writing is amazing too and thanks for the kudos on this post! I love following random people who have a deeper soul than you would see when you meet them in person. Phew! That was long, huh?