26/11/2008

I can’t believe this happened… again. But then again, it’s been happening so often that some of us have even grown numb to it all. How can this be? How has Man grown into this seething monster? We are progressing technologically and urbanization is way off the highest rung of the ladder but we seem to have forgotten how it all started. Man has truly become man’s greatest enemy. We are from the same race. You can’t pick who you are but you can choose who you become. You can be better. You can be a human being. Isn’t it enough that we live? We talk, we speak, we walk…We breathe. How is it that we have grown so indifferent to the needs of our own fellow mates? How the fuck can you take a life when you have never lived your own? How can you profess that you are superior by spilling the blood of an innocent? How? Who the fuck are you? No one tells you to be any different. No religion tells you that. Religion is something man-made, however. God is One. Hell, we are One. So why do you keep trying to out-race your peers? What have we turned into? We are here for a reason. To live and let live. This is our home, our life, our cities, our planet. You have no right to destroy what is everyone else’s. Violence isn’t an answer but justice is. We will fight back. Doesn’t it make you cringe to know what you have done? Have you never felt pain or hurt that it becomes so cold-blooded for you to cause it to others? Do you even know how stupid you sound? How callous this is? How can you be? How can you be? But what I realize is no amount of wondering or asking is going to change what’s happened. You are our hope, that’s what makes it sadder. Look into the mirror and focus on your eyes. What do you see? You, we… are the future. It has to stop. This second on.

You may not see, but for that you must truly believe.

I think one of the most difficult things to do is to face your fear. For me, it's always been the same, scared of meeting people, of speaking publicly and of not being successful in what I set out to do. And much of it stems from feeling inadequate at times. And well, facing one's fear has a thrill about it yet you need that final push. Like I really wanna bungee-jump off a cliff someday but someone needs to push me. I might be all geared up in the suit and everything but I need that motivation, the belief that I can go on, do it and mostly, by myself. It's only then when you feel a sense of deep satisfaction.
I just hope I get a job when I come back in January, I really wanna work with Art...I want to design it, create it and I know I have the potential to do so. To graphically design prints for paper or magazines or even ads.... I even enjoy writing but now, after learning the technical aspects of designing which I was otherwise only good at hand, I wanna explore that aspect and take it up as a career. It's what I've always wanted.So we've established that happiness is
a prime drive for moving forward in life. It's just that sometimes I'd also really
like to show the people especially those who didn't/don't believe in me that
I can do it too and here I am, in your face, on the highest pinnacle of self-
actualization! I'm sure you have felt that competition too, to show people that
you can be the darned best as well. It's not easy but it's definitely not that hard.

I'm fairly creative but I'm still a little timid in my ways. That's why my work needs to speak for me sometimes. The hardest part is what you are or what you will be no one can see unless they see you as a bold, outgoing person. And I am the total opposite. I'm very shy and completely reserved. I just hope all this disappears and I get a job I truly deserve and want to work my ass off for. That'll be the drive to push me forward when I know I'm doing something I love.
:)
Hey, hold on to your dreams, never throw them away.....you know you can make them come true.

Hmmm :-/

I know I can and it's okay...but still what if I'm not supposed to? It's not a crime but would it be so wrong to? But anyway I already do.... I don't want to set my hopes up again... We're really good friends but....well....ah...I'm confused...and also happy... I might be just imagining it. It'd be great if it were for real. And it's been on my mind since a few days now... Shit! I'm sorry you don't know what I'm talking about but I can't say anything here - it's too public.


But I hope something cool happens! Crossing my fingers :-)



Aaaaargh!!! I'm going to kill Val.


I am an ass. I mean, it's kind of stupid. And X does not see me that way. We're just friends. I should totally shut up now. 


SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPRO!!!!